Hummers aren't always good, you know

Anyone who knows anything about me knows that I despise huge SUVs. They're wasteful, completely unnecessary, and do more than their fair share of environmental damage.

Plus, it has been scientifically proven that the larger the SUV, the smaller the male owner's penis.

Hummers are the epitome of this epidemic.

So today I saw a tall, thin black guy getting out of a Hummer. I was speechless! Like any good "researcher," I need to figure out the best way to deal with this antithesis. Hummer owners have small penises. Tall men have big penises. Skinny men have big penises. Black men have big penises. Tall, thin black men are inherently hung like you don't even know. What the fuck am I supposed to think about a tall, thin black man who drives a Hummer!?

At this point you're probably realizing the expanse of my psychological problems, but honestly, this is a perfect example of the things that plague me...

I'm Listening To: Army of Me - Going Through Changes
One Thing I Did Today: scolded Steve for his terrible communication skills (again)