QOTW

Sorting through a stack of disks and cds, I found the electronic copy of my old project, Quotes of the Week (QOTW).

Some favorites by biensoul:

"Rocky Spain ruined my exclusive Harry Potter paperback from Great Britain, and you think *you're* depressed!"

"I wholeheartedly endorse your youthful sex triangle!"

"Am I nothing more than two breasts and a vagina to you?"

Some favorites by fiestada:

"Jesus just scored a basket!"

"Shit, if I was rich, I'd have a monkey!"

"Dude, we're *that* couple from TV! The gay guy and his sister with too much cleavage!"

Other favorites:

"Go get your contacts out before you go have phone sex with someone." (my stepmother)

"All Asians are hairdressers at some point in their lives, so you'll get the hang of it." (me)

"Contrary to popular belief, you're not hot. You look like a fat, slutty whore." (Autumn)

"My mom won't let me come over because you're a dick...I mean you have a dick!" (my best friend)

"So he banged his sister, attacked and killed her, and ate half her face?" (Jeff, on fiestada's hamsters)

"Alex, come lick this!" (mom)

"If I had a dick, I'd tell her to suck it!" (a female ex-coworker)

"Hold on. {faintly} Alex! Stop touching your penis! {pause} Oh yeah? Well the Penis Police are on the phone right now!" (mom, on the phone with me)

"But then there's all these girls coming into the hospital where I work who have genital warts, herpes all over, 'But he said he loved me!' Yeah, loved you enough to knock you up and give you AIDS. It's sad, I tell you." (some woman in line behind fiestada and I at the grocery store)

I'm Listening To:
One Thing I Did Today: