they've gone and gradumated

After work yesterday, I went right to Jonny�s house for his graduation party. I haven�t seen him in months, so that was really nice. I haven�t seen his mom in just as long, so it was good to see her again too. I met his new boyfriend, as well. At one point during the evening, his mom pulled me aside (after offering to smoke me up) and asked when we were getting back together, because she likes me a lot, and doesn�t like the new boyfriend so much. I don�t remember how I politely avoided an answer, but I somehow did. Being there made me realize how much I miss being around his family. They�re all so laid-back and carefree, they type of family whose door is always open to anyone in need. I admire that.

None of this went without confusion, though. Jonny paid more attention to me than his new boy, and I could tell he was getting caught back up in me. I feel bad. I really liked Jonny, and there�s a part of me that still does. On a certain level, he was really a great guy to be around all the time. On another level, though, I know we�re not compatible. His views on life are drastically different than mine, for one. He has little to no aspirations, and doesn�t appear to be going anywhere in his life. That�s something I need. He also has a lot of emotional issues, which I can totally understand, but they eventually became bigger than I could help him with. Because of our time together last year, he has grown emotionally attached to me, and it�s just not the kind of thing I can return. Today he told me that ever since he saw me last night, he can�t get me out of his mind. He also said that the only thing he has in his head is being with me when I graduate and settle down. I don�t know how I feel about that. It�s weird, �cause I�m usually the one with these types of feelings. Who knows.

Since I was nearby, and hadn�t been home yet, I went straight to Justin�s from Jonny�s. I picked him up and we went for a drive. The back roads of Ellicott City and Elkridge are a lot more interesting when there�s someone in the passenger seat that you�d love to spend hours and hours with. My car eventually steered its way over to fiestada�s house for a quick session of South Park-watching and mom stories-telling. Justin and I started to head back home, and ended up in a park somewhere in Kendall Ridge. We went walking once again, stopping at the tot lots and bridges. I held his hand as he told me about an 80s sci-fi rock gospel he starred in last year, complete with rainbow-colored shirt, low-rise pants, and wacky-colored boxers. It takes a lot of self control not to jump on him sometimes.

He�s told me about his parents, and how his dad is not accepting of his bi-ness, and how his mom isn�t fully supportive yet. Imagine my surprise when, dropping him off at home, he started to kiss me with his door half open.

I told him that I have the house to myself this weekend, and that he�s more than welcome to crash with me if he wanted. He�s not sure if he�ll be able to, but he said he would love it if he could. I�ll take that as a good sign, thank you very much.

Really, though. I have not a damn thing going on this weekend. It would be delightful if fiestada and biensoul did end up coming over on Saturday night to play pool, drink, and be merry.

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