[i got nothing]

I feel very... out of place right now.

J leaves for school in two days, which just so happens to be four whole weeks since I've seen him. Twenty bucks says I'll never see that kid again. I realize that he probably doesn't feel the same for me, but... I'd be lying if I said I don't think about him every single day.

On a related note, though, I decided to watch the entire season of Real World New Orleans. At one point Kelly was talking to Danny about how he met Paul, and that even if they didn't last, they'd always have that amazing period of time in their memory. That's the way I'm trying to approach this situation with J. I understand that things will never be the way they were, but instead of moping over it for all eternity, I'm gonna try to smile for all the times he made me feel good about myself. And all the amazingly hot sex, too.

Watching any episode of New Orleans, the only season I ever watched, makes me so happy for Danny and Paul, and so friggin' jealous too. C'mon dude, they're hot. I remember when I first came out to fiestada... it was during that season. I told her I was gay, then said I needed to go home so I could catch it on tv 'cause I thought Danny was hot. Still do.

But that's totally beside the point. I've lost all direction on this one, so I'm just gonna stop now.

I'm Listening To:
One Thing I Did Today: